Mid-Shore Life

by Cyndi Paxton Johnson

Have you ever been stopped cold by a few words? The words keep echoing in your mind – and you realize almost everything you believe has suddenly been altered.  Goose bumps appear on your arms, the tiny hairs standing at attention as your entire being retunes itself to the Universe. I’ve experienced this a few times in my decades – including an hour ago.

A post came across my Twitter feed and briefly caught my attention. I continued scrolling down, reading other updates, but the words echoed and lingered. “What?” My mind interrupted the “busy” part of my brain. “What did that say? Go back!!!”

I returned.  I quickly found the post and reread the quote – and my world folded in on itself as it accepted the brief words as a Universal Truth:

 “There is nothing that has to be done- there is only someone to be”     Jacquelyn Small

What is this? How can I – Queen of the painstakingly written (and overcrowded) to-do list even waste time considering this blurb? Almost every day I write out the things I need to do – and I rarely – if ever – check off more than a few.  Today was no different.  I accomplished some things – and guiltily ignored others.  I focused on Homeschooling today. This morning I went through materials and created a “to-do” list for the week for each child – trying to get them to be a bit more independent in their reading and learning. Later I played multiplication games and read History and corrected math and made dinner.  Only two things checked off my list. And I’m on the road tomorrow – so won’t get ANYTHING accomplished.

Except….“There is nothing that has to be done- there is only someone to be”.

Who am I?

I am a homeschooling parent – and like being interrupted by my son so he can tell me he loves me. I like snuggling in front of the fire to read American History, or having the kids race around the house in yet ANOTHER attempt to help them learn the times tables.

I’m also a wife, and daughter, and keeper of the hearth. I’m a writer – and the words flow – whether I write them down or not. I’m a business person, a website editor, a salesperson and more. I am a homemaker – and making a home means cleaning and laundry and bills and endless phone calls.

I can’t do it ALL every day. But I can always be ME – learning, loving and growing.  Messing up – and moving on.  I’ll never be perfect – and maybe it’s time to throw the perfection trap into the compost pile and focus on the important things.  Like honor, self-respect, forgiveness and empathy.

Because THAT’S who I AM. And that bothersome to-do list? It’s HISTORY!